Real estate agents tend to be a little, well, obsessed with real estate. If you don't believe me take a quick peek around ActiveRain. Day or night, while at home or on vacation, during holidays and weekends, you will find agents here blogging away about every topic imaginable.
I completely understand the obsession. When I was an agent, I was obsessed as well. Looking back upon it, I now realize how much time I spent thinking about real estate, writing about real estate, working in real estate. It is, quite simply, an all-consuming profession.
When you first become an agent, you aren't immediately thrown into the craziness. As your business grows you constantly strive for better, more productive and more innovative ways to work. All that extra effort leads to more work, more buyers and more sellers.
Since building a successful business doesn't happen overnight, that all-consuming aspect of the business just creeps up on you like a shadow. You never even know what hit you! For some, that craziness is welcome and they thrive upon it. For others, like me, it is hard if not impossible to achieve a good work/life balance amid the chaos and 24/7 days.
When I decided to leave the real estate business I honestly expected that it would be a difficult transition from agent to non-agent because you pretty much have to do it cold turkey. The first few days and weeks I considered "detox" time. No more access to the MLS, no more phone calls at all odd hours of the day and night, no more late night blogging, working leads, worrying about how my sellers would come up with their next mortgage payment, or wondering whether the home inspection would reveal some scary deal-breaker defect. On the flip side, no more excitement of finding the "right" house and closing deals either.
What I found is that as I progressed through the days and then weeks of life outside of real estate, I started rediscovering who I am as a person instead of as an agent. I also started eating better, cooking more often, taking an exercise class, sleeping soundly, and smiling more. I can now go hours, if not whole days without checking my email. I even lost 9 pounds! Quite simply, I got my life back.
Since I'm not independently wealthy, I've been looking for a new opportunity (outside of my referral business). While interviewing for my transition back into the working world, I found myself walking through offices of cheerful, productive people who receive steady paychecks every two weeks and picturing myself in their midst. I'd always considered the "flexibility" of real estate to be a misnomer because it seemed like I was always working and the flexibility was me being flexible and working around the schedules of others. But these people got nights and weekends off! These people took vacations and were still paid for those days off! These people got benefits! Promotions! Lunch breaks! They had a life outside of the office!
Now, don't think for one minute that I don't fully understand what it's like to be in the regular business world. I've been there, done that. And I'm ready to do it again, with eyes wide open and a happy heart.
In fact, I just got a great job offer. It offers tons of vacation, fantastic hours, a professional environment and a wonderful opportunity to use all my old skills and learn new ones too. I'm going to say yes...yes to this new job, my new life. I'm so excited.
So what is the lesson in all of this? It's simple: If real estate is not making you happy, go out and find something that will. I promise you that there's more to life than real estate!
Life is a journey. Find your nirvana.
If you are a consumer looking for a good real estate agent, give me a call. As a referral agent (I'm no longer involved in the day to day real estate business), I can help match you with the perfect agent to help you buy or sell your home.
Glad to see you back. Congrats on your new venture. I talk to Judy Greenberg and she sings your praises....just the same....great to see you again.
Good luck on your job offer. After a while, we agents tend to find balance or go nuts. I've done nuts so now I have balance.
Mmmmm. I'm wondering if you're not still just a tad "obsessed".
The fact that we are self employed is a motivation alone to stay focused and well yes....maybe a tad obsessed. I am proud of my work ethic.
Larry: I sing Judy's praises too! :) Thanks for the well-wishes!
Lori: Good for you!
Lenn: Why would you say that? Granted, I have remained here at AR...I have too many past clients and potential referral business to simply fade away. But obsessed with real estate? Heck no! Not anymore!
Ellie: Absolutely. When you are self-employed, it all rests on your shoulders, so you tend to work much harder, IMO.
Depeding on what type of job you are getting, you may be working long hours too, this time for someone else. Good luck!
Kelly - good to hear from you. Best of luck.
Jeff
Tony: I did mention "great hours" didn't I?
Great post Kelly. I am in the building stage of my career so I have to say that I am 24/7 right now. Maybe after a few months I can find more balance but I do love what I do... :)
Jeff: Thanks! Keep writing and posting those great pics...sun, sand, ocean views...now that's nirvana! :)
Jared: If you're loving it, that's all that matters!
Kelly,
Congratulations on taking better care of yourself. Sometimes we get so caught up in taking care of others' needs, we forget our own!! Best of luck to you in your new job!!
LOL at Lenn's comment. Kelly, I'm so glad you're happy and have such a great opportunity that fits where you are right now. I secretly have to wonder if Lenn's right though. Something tells me you'll always be looking in on us and who knows? Maybe one day jump back in???
Sonja: I think one of the common denominators for real estate agents is that they are nurturing and tend to put other's needs ahead of their own. It may be their spouse, friends, children or clients. It is important to remember to take care of yourself, that's for sure!
Colleen: I honestly don't think so. It wasn't a healthy career choice for me at the end of the day, and I'm happy to move on.
I agree 100% Real Estate is so addicting. I don't know what it is but there is always something in your mind at all times of the day. Even on vacation. I enjoy Real Estate and have learned that this is part of being a Realtor. I would not change it for the world. I glad you decided to help yourself and find a new career.
I too have seen many agents get obsessed and then burn out. I think it lies in if you love what you're doing, an obsession is okay.
I'm obsessed with life. That's why I have a daily/weekly/monthly/quarterly/annual lists of things to do, of which ActiveRain is on the list.
Taking my little bride to the mountains this weekend for a getaway and then taking me and the guys backpacking in two weeks.
You gotta get away from things every so often and recharge your batteries. Strapping on a backpack and head up into the mountains does it for me.
Hey, Kelly. I wish you well with your new career. Having a vacation that does not involve emails or phone calls sound pretty nice right now. Take Care, Jim
Great article, really well written and very enticing. This will be replicated by current realtors all around the country in the next month. if ever there was a year for a big dropoff then this may be it.
Congratulations Kelly! You have made a lot of changes in the short time, I've known you via ActiveRain...
Hi Kelly! I am obsessed with real estate. I don't think I could give it up. Congratulations on your new venture in life. Enjoy your nights, and weekends off.
Kelly, Congrats on your new job. You're making me a little jealous...
Kelly, I've felt exactly the same way you do, but I still love real estate way too much to give up my obsession. Right now it's my only option too, since it allows me to stay home with my kids, but I think someday... I'll grow the same set of wings
I can't tell you how many times i've wanted to chuck this computer out a window, cancel my cell phone and delete all of my e-mail accounts :o) I know how time consuming it can be to be a someone's beck and call, but this Fall I put some boundaries in place to limit my "on-call" lifestyle. It's worked wonders for my sanity, and I learned that there are no such things as "real estate emergencies".
Logan: I'm so glad you enjoy what you do for a living!
Kris: I've seen that happen as well.
Russel: Good for you!
Jim: I totally agree. Have fun in the mountains!
Jim & Maria: That wasn't a possibility for me when I was in real estate. One of the reasons I left.
Castellum: You may be right.
Maureen: Life is all about change. In this case, a change for the better (at least for me!)
Lisa: Then don't! :)
Judy: Yea, right...!
Julie: When I stopped loving it (in October 2007) I started making my plans to exit the industry. If you still love it, then by all means enjoy your time with your kids!
Amen to that! But when you have been in Real Estate all your life, it's hard to pick up & start a new career late in life, but many times it is worth the gamble .....
Good luck in your new endeavor whatever they may be. I am sure that you will continue to be successful in anything that you do!
All the Best!
Kathy Fisher
kelly - that is so awesome for you to have rediscovered yourself. I know of one agent in particular that drives me freaking insane. It is ALL she talks about - seriously, ALL she talks about. Just once I would like to say, "Hey, how are you?" and have a straight, from the heart, nothing to do with real estate answer! While I am still sure that my friends, family and new acquaintances know what I do - I DO NOT dwell on it. I have a life! I am a mother, a wife and so many, many more things BEFORE I am a Realtor. This was a great post and, again, I am SO happy for you!
Steve: You know what, I've been contacted (privately) by several real estate agents who feel like they can't get out of the business...although they want to do so desperately. For some, it is the golden handcuffs of the money they make. For others, it is because they feel they lack marketable skills that can be used outside of real estate. Some lack confidence. Some are scared to start over again. One of the reasons I wrote this is because I wanted to give others a boost...if it's something they want to do, then they should go for it. Real estate is not for everyone...and we should all pursue whatever makes us happy at the end of the day.
Kathy: Thank you!
Leesa: Fantastic! It sounds like you have balance!
Kelly, Best of luck to you in your new job! I forgot the benefits of a 9 to 5 job...BENEFITS :) And weekends off. But I still wouldn't change a thing.
There is more to life than Real Estate. I'm just glad I enjoy what I do. I see people who go to work everyday and are forced to work 10 hour days, plus have the threat of being laid off always dangled in their faces. It makes me appreciate my job that much more. Good post.
Hi Kelly...Oh, how I agree with you.
I had a great life before I ever had my real estate license, really enjoying several careers that I had. They may have started out as jobs but became careers. There was a time I said I wanted to be a receptionist at a brand new medical college so I could pick up and leave at 5:00 each day without any responsibility. Sure didn't last long. Within two years I was in student services handling financial aid, admissions, the registrar's duties, helped with housing, had staff and my own private office, etc.
That was just one of the many interesting and fun careers I have had besides real estate. Perhaps because of that I have been able to really find balance in my life. I am not consumed with earning more and more money nor to compete to be the #1 agent.
Kelly, I do not care what you do as long as you love it and it suits your priorities.
Just do not leave Active Rain. I would miss you too much.
Kate
The problem is most real estate professionals fail to treat thier chosen career as a business or even a regular job. Seriously, would you operate a business and open the door three hours late or not open at all for other days? Do you expect to have customers waiting in line?
The difference between realtors and doctors or lawyers is they went to school learning business administration skills as well. Being licenced only means you are legal. It is not a guarantee of income. Only work guarantees that and if you think working as a realtor is paying golf or sitting in a coffee shop all afternoon, you will have a rude awakening.
Kelly: well said. We all tend to hang on too long to something that isn't working. It could be we don't know what else we would do or we still love the business. We're just not making any money doing it. My new favorite saying is "pride goeth before the fall" so I appreciate your post. Nothing is the end of the world! Take care.
Kelly,
You hit the nail on the head....BALANCE!..... Remember that in your new job! And good luck!
Kathy Opatka Re/Max OCEAN CITY MARYLAND
Wishing you the very best with your new venture. What an awesome opportunity for you to do new things with your life while still being involved in the industry. Very cool. :-)
Kelly,
Congratulations on taking that giant leap to a new career. I'm a retired teacher and I jumped into the realty market as a realtor. What a change!!! I enjoyed teaching, but I enjoy being self-employed and on my own time clock. Change is good for all of us!!!
Kelly - best of luck to you in your new adventurous career change - I have to admit that when I read the title of this post I expected somewhere in it to say, "Ok, there really isn't more to life than real estate - I just wanted to get your attention!" LOL I know we'll still see you here writing while you still do referrals...enjoy your new life :-)
I did the same thing! After many years of successful selling, I became a corporate trainer, and have never been happier! Life is great, and I'm thankful for the skills I amassed.
Now to have some more fun! Active Rain is fun!
Good for you and good to see you here Kelly! Have a great day!
Carol: Ahhhh, weekends off. Remember those?
Doug: That's why my choice of new opportunity was very important to me! The bottom line is that there are pros and cons in every business, and whether you are self-employed or not you could be working 10 hour (or more!) days. I know many real estate agents that were, in effect, "laid off" by the economy and the downturn in the housing market! It's more about loving what you do...than who you are employed by.
Kate: I understand exactly what you are saying. I'm the type that seeks out more responsibilities because I like being busy. I'm not consumed with making money but I wasn't able to find a balance in real estate, nor did I feel like I was using my skills to their greatest potential. Onward! And...don't you worry, I'll still be here posting, but probably not as often as before. ;)
Tom: You hit the nail on the head! I was one of those agents that treated my business as a business from day one...I incorporated right out of the gate, and dedicated myself 100% to the business. I was, luckily, very good at it and very successful. But at the end of the day, I just wasn't happy doing it.
Paul: Leaving the business is difficult, not because of the actual leaving it part, but because deep down you know that other agents will secretly cheer your demise and greedily grab your portion of the business! They love to think you just couldn't hack it, lol. Ah well, I'll laugh all the way to the bank...every two weeks!
Kathy: I've learned my lesson well! Work/life balance is my #1 priority.
Anonymous: Thank you! Very cool, indeed! :)
I went to Atlantic City for a Valentines get away and spent 5% of my time anwsering calls and emails on my phone and that was pretty good.
You are right - it's very hard not to be obsessed with the job!!! Good luck in your new career!
Jane: Yes, change keeps our minds nimble and our hearts happy.
Christine: Thank you! Yes, I'll still be here writing from time to time. Keep reading!
Paul: Congratulations! I wouldn't give back my years as an agent for anything. I learned so many new skills and met so many wonderful people. It was a great chapter in my life, but just one chapter. Life is great!
Dawn: Thank you! Have a wonderful day!
Dee Dee: That's 5% too much if you ask me. My sweetie deserves 100% of my time when we are away together! :)
Emily: Thanks! Even non-real estate agents are obsessed with real estate right now...it's always a topic of conversation at parties!
Kelly, your pragmatic approach to life and the real estate business is always so refreshing to me. I have always been a person first and a worker second in life, and I'm glad you found that out along the way. Your best thought at the end there is do what makes you happy. It sounds like you are well on your way. Why would we want to do anything that makes us crazy? Well written verse AS ALWAYS!!
I still have some kind of a life, but I do try very hard to book family time into my schedule, and I do stick to it 99.9% of the time.... although it's very difficult some times.
Kelly, I hope you find what you're looking for in your journey. Congratulations and good luck with your new venture.
Yes, I agree Real Estate is addicting. I was in Florida for a week, and did not miss a day in reading and commenting on blog posts.
This is a GREAT business. Meeting people, integral part of their lives for 2,3,4 months, boom off they go. NEXT! Call back from same people 4 years later, "Guess what? We saw a house we, we want to move, how much canwe get for our house?" Now you are right back in their lives etc.. It's a fantastic business.
Hi Kelly, I have three companies including a referral company...a little obsessed is not he word! You are far better than I. I retired some 10-12 years back and was nuts in 6 months. Now I still think I am nuts but in a much different way....:-) Keep enjoying.
Kelly...
This is great. You've detailed exactly how I felt and what I did when I withdrew from actively selling. Only difference is I didn't have de-tox. Instead I breathed a very long sigh of relief. Now I just sit back and and say show me the money Blog Boy. OH...And I crack the whip once in awhile too :)
TLW...ROAR!
great post!!
Hi Kelly. Congrats. I hope life is well...
Ken
That was the one thing I gave up the day I stepped foot into my real estate career: my fitness level. I've never been able to gain that balance. I hope to change that in 2009!
I agree that we need to pay attention to where is the joy in our life? I also know that in other industries/careers/jobs I have worked, obsessed, etc. and that sometimes it is what is inside of me that needs to be tweaked versus where I am "moving to".
I know that I'm obsessed with real estate, but I'm OK with that. I'm happy doing what I'm doing and when I go to bed at night I never think "boy, I wish that boring bank job back". It's all about being happy with yourself and it looks like you've found it. Best wishes on your new job, Kelly, but don't forget to poke your head in here now and again. I miss reading your wonderful posts!
Kelly, I have often thought real estate was a huge rock..hard to get rolling, easier when inertia takes over but just as hard to stop once moving. I'm sure that is why people have a hard time shutting it off or even taking a vacation. But like medicine vacations are good for you time to heal, and rest makes you better upon your return.
There is more to life than real estate. It's good you made a proactive decision before you imploded or burned out. Wise decision, especially keeping your foot in the door as a referral agent...
Kelly - So many of can relate. I wanted to quit a few months ago and not because of slow sales. I was not struggling as bad as others but I was frustrated and burned out. My husband encouraged me to stick it out stating that this is something I am good at. I ended up changing firms. The jury is out. I haven't had time to really grasp how I feel these days. And, I guess that's a good thing because it's business related busy. I did summarize in my recent 25 randomthings about how I forgot how to cook since I've been in real estate. It was the simple truth. I am half the person in my personal life than I use to be, yet my husband supports this craziness. Go figure!
it is a tough business to manage with calls coming in all the time but the best one can set the boundaries and succeed
Gary: I'm very logical and think things through carefully. When something isn't working, I figure out a way to fix (or change) it.
Sylvie: It can be hard...because one phone call can change the course of your whole day...or week...as all agents know.
Rebecca: It sure sounds like you are addicted...but if you are happy doing what you're doing, then more power to you!
Scott: Those are the best parts of the business, for sure. :)
Gary: It sounds like you love it, though!
TLW: I also breathed a big sigh of relief...but it took some time to get used to what "normal" life is like again. Well, as normal as life can be! :)
Tony and Libby: Thank you!
Ken: Life is better than ever!
Christianne: I think it's very common...there are lots of "chubby" real estate agents out there, lol!
Kelly: I agree...attitude is very important. I took a full year to work through my decision to leave the business. But at the end of the day, it was the job, not something within me that needed fixing.
Lisa: Real estate is rarely boring, that's for sure! At the end of the day, if you are content, that is what is important!
Steve: True.
Marvin: I agree! If you are miserable, then you're no good to your clients...or anyone else for that matter.
Carol: You're not the only agent who has said that to me! I knew I was going to leave the business in October of 2007 and met with my broker to talk about it. I tried to make it work (did some teaching and training, explored managing an office, got more education, joined mastermind groups, etc.) all throughout 2008. I literally threw myself into the business with everything I had because I felt I owed it to myself and my clients to see if I could make it work. At the end of the day, it wasn't me...it was the job itself. And...I don't miss it...I thought I would, but I don't. I feel...free.
Randall: You can't always set boundaries and stick to them if you want to be successful, IMO. If you need to negotiate a deal and just happen to be on vacation...then you owe it to your clients to negotiate the deal. Boundaries can help with the day to day workload, but unfortunately real estate doesn't have any set timetables or schedules. You have to go with the flow. Some can handle that better than others.
cycling is my obsession, everything else is just a distraction. Especially real estate.
Kelly, I'm one of your subscribers, but caught this because of the featured post status. It sounds like you are doing the right thing for yourself. And very smart that you are still doing referrals. Best of luck. ~Pat
Kelly, congratulations on your new job! It did not take you long but that is not a bit surprising. Regular hours and a regular paycheck....wow...what a concept! YIPPPEEE for you, Kelly!!! :-)
Michael: In this market...that's probably a very good thing!
Pat: I'm enjoying my life now. Referrals are the icing on the cake.
Deb: Thank you! :)
Of course, Kelly! I am still waiting to hear details of that wonderful new employer that is lucky to have you:-)
Kelly - I haven't read all of the comments, so somebody may have already asked this question...What is your new job! :)
Debra: See below...
Debi: My new job? Well, aside from my real estate referral business, I'm working in a school for special needs kids. Great hours, great vacation, great environment, great staff, benefits, paycheck...I'm very happy with my new venture! :)
Kelly - That's great! It's wonderful when you love what you do... :)